ShutUpJohn!

Step by step instructions on how to host your own radio show.

1. While Morning Edition is wrapping up, look up today’s This Day in History and see if anything strikes you as interesting to use as the theme for the day.
2. Use the computer to search the KUT music library to find any music that mentions your little factoid in the title of the song, or the name of the artist, or the producer, or the label. Just do a search on “all fields.”
3. Announce today’s theme and play any songs that have the theme in their title, no matter how stupid, ancient or ear-splitting the music may be.
4. Plug your blog.
5. Announce the weather and insert your opinion on the forecast. Oh, if you don’t feel like it don’t bother reading the entire forecast.
6. Announce Today’s Birthdays
7. While the NPR news update is running, use the computer to search the KUT library for any songs that are performed or written by anyone with the same first name as one of the people who has a birthday today.
8. Plug your blog.
9. Play all the songs by people with the same first name as someone with a birthday today. Don’t be constrained by any relationship between the music and certainly don’t worry if the music is horrible because you don’t have to listen to it! Just unplug your headphones and continue searching the KUT music library. Let your mind wander. Queue up any songs where you can make any kind of simple-minded relationship.
10. Describe that you have a post on your blog that mentions someone that also has the same first name as some famous person with a birthday today!
11. Play the NPR news update
12. (optional) Interview a musician/band and make sure the musician and everyone listening understand just how much you know about music. Let the band play and be sure to explain how much you liked that one part where they go “bum bubba bum bum bum ratta tat tat bum” just like in this other song you love.
13. Darn, still another hour or so to go
14. Plug your blog
15. Put the KUT music computer on “random” and pretend you had a little random theme going there… Don’t worry, all listeners with half a brain have already changed the station, just make something up!
16. Complain about the weather
17. Play the NPR news update
18. Done!

See? You can be a radio institution as well!

Update this list in comments and see how well you remember John’s shtick.

Woohoo! John Aielli started his six week vacation today! Six weeks without John Aielli! My radio can finally remain tuned to KUT all day…

Hmm - post in comments below if you want to be included in a Johniday notification service I may try to put together. Wouldn’t it be kind of cool to get an e-mail or even an SMS text message on your phone whenever John Aielli is not working?

I’ve been so sick of Aielli that I haven’t been listening to KUT this week, but imagine my delight when I turned it on today and no John Aielli! The first clue was the cool music and then the soothing voice of Michael Crocket, I believe. Click on the KUT playlist link to the right and see how nice the music selection is.

Is it really necessary to insert your commentary over the music? It’s the ultimate indicator of an ego that has become much too large. Not only is it rude but it indicates that you believe that you are more important than the music. It indicates that you believe that your commentary is so very insightful that it must be heard immediately and that the main reason people listen to your radio show is to hear what you have to say, rather than the music.

It’s also particularly infuriating when your comments over the music are inane.

I think it would be much better for John’s ego to move to a talk radio station and just quit with the facade that his show is about the music.

This valentine’s day, KUT sure is trumpeting how awesome John’s musical selections are. As a loyal listener, at least until I can’t stand Aielli any longer and revert back to internet radio, I can appreciate John’s 20 years of DJ experience. But based on the music he selects for his show, including the really odd-ball ancient folk music like “On Top of Old Smokey”, I’m not all that comfortable with buying a special Valentine’s Day membership to KUT when I’ll also get a CD with musical selections picked out by John Aielli. It wouldn’t be so bad if KUT didn’t make such a big deal out of it.

Ya know, I’d rather have selections by Larry Munroe.

While cussing at John Aielli is one of my pastimes, KUT has some fabulous shows. What are you favorite shows on KUT? I seem to have a thing for late-night radio although I’m not usually up to catch the really late night ones any more. My favorites, in order:

1. Left of the dial - Jeff McCord - Friday nights 8:00pm - 11:00m - Best radio show ever
2. Saturday Overnight - Rick McNulty - Saturday nights 11:00pm - 3:00am - Inspiration for this post
3. World Music - Hayes McCauley - Sunday nights 6:00pm - 9:00pm - my weekly cooking show
4. World Music - Michael Crocket - Sunday nights 9:00pm - 11:00pm - ditto!
5. Phil Music - Larry Munroe - Thursday nights 8:00pm - 11:00pm - After the council meeting, HA!

Yeah, I’ve been listening to Phil Music since the Austin City Council meetings were on KUT. That was when I was in High School fer cryin’ out loud.

What’s your favorites?

I recently started a new job where I work from home which gives me the opportunity to listen to my favorite music as loud as I like and with the variety that I enjoy. Unfortunately, this also means I have more opportunity to listen to John Aielli drone on and on and talk over the normally decent musical selection that he plays.

So, after years of yelling at my radio “SHUT UP, JOHN!” I finally decided to do something about it.

Don’t get me wrong, this isn’t a personal attack on John Aielli. I’m certain he’s a super nice person and I mostly enjoy the music he selects for his show. However, John has some really annoying habits that I decided I wanted to discuss with a wider audience.

See, any time I mention that I listen to KUT and Ekelektikos in particular, there’s an almost universal sentiment from other people that while they enjoy the music they wish that John Aielli would just SHUT UP ALREADY. Come on in and get it off your chest and stop throwing your radios across the room!